You're not morally ambiguous, you're just context sensitive.
Size guide
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | |
| Length (inches) | 26 | 26 ½ | 27 ⅛ | 27 ¾ | 28 ⅜ |
| Width (inches) | 15 ¾ | 16 ½ | 17 ½ | 18 ½ | 19 ½ |